Making a Plan.

I need to accomplish something on my own. Trying to figure out what in the world that could be is the hard part. The most obvious solution is to take part in the Skagit Flats 1/2 marathon in September. I think about it and my body screams "NOOOOOO! Please no, anything but that." To which I reply "But I think it's a splendid plan."

After a long conversation with a friend I realized that I have no idea what I'm doing right now. No idea. I want to talk and then I can't figure out what to say. I want instant answers, instant gratification for things I haven't even done yet. I figure instant gratification isn't likely even after I do them. I am walking around in a haze grasping at straws. I want to take this confusion and anger and funnel it into an answer.

I feel like if I can do this, prepare myself for something this big I will improve my health, my stamina, my appearance. What could be bad about it? Then I think about what will happen if I fail. If I set this goal and don't reach it. I keep not doing anything because I'm scared. I avoid way too much out of fear. I don't say things I mean because I'm scared. I am not happy right now because I'm scared to take the chances that could make me so.

So here is my plan:

I will run 3 to 4 times a week. Maybe more if I can talk myself into it.

I will cut way back on the eating of sweets. Yes that's right, it hurts but I can do it.

I will cut back on the intake of dairy in my life. I can drink rice or soy milk and be just as happy.

I will be able to run 5 miles by the end of June. 10 by the end of August. 13 by September.

(Disclaimer: Even if I can't run 13 miles by September my goal is just to finish.)

I want to be healthier, and happier.

I guess I'm giving a whole new meaning to running away from my problems.